


Close Call

by RedOrchid



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Be nice to him, Canon Backstory, He's still has a lot of growing up to do, Izzy is awesome, Jace is a teen, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Pansexual!Izzy, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-07-19 12:28:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7361512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedOrchid/pseuds/RedOrchid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was a close call once.</p><p>A Jace/Alec backstory. Stand-alone (pre-show!canon)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Close Call

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this as part of the Jace’s-bond-breaks ficlet but then it got really long and I didn’t know where to put it. So, stand-alone it became!

There was a close call once, in the middle of Jace’s teens when his hormones were raging and he walked around constantly on edge and sexually frustrated—getting turned on by everything from sparring with his trainers to a mundane girl on the subway smiling at him. Alec was already considered an adult by then, starting to move into the role of the future Head of the Institute, and even more adamant than before at keeping his feelings for Jace firmly under lock and key.

So Jace pushed. Not in an obvious way that didn’t have plausible deniability—just enough to feel that surge of power when he made Alec lose his breath, or start stuttering, or abruptly turn and leave the room. 

He knows that it must have fucked with Alec’s head—knew it on some level already back then, but was too caught up in his own head to want to see it. So he kept pushing, until one day when he was sixteen and the two of them were left behind on a mission to secure the perimeter and got attacked by a Ravener demon.

It was the first time they fought together in the field without backup, and against something that posed a real threat. Jace still remembers the rush of the bond kicking in—a hundred times stronger than in training—Alec’s breath in perfect synch with his own, their hearts beating as one, and power surging through the bond and his arm to his blade like a current of electricity. When the demon finally fell, Jace let out a whoop in triumph and threw his arms around Alec’s neck, riding high on victory. He hugged Alec tightly and clapped him on the back before drawing back a fraction to look at him.

Alec’s eyes were closed, and when Jace took a moment to pay attention, he realised that Alec’s body was trembling ever so slightly, Alec’s hands closed in tight fists at his sides. 

“Alec, you okay?”

Alec opened his eyes, and the expression there made Jace’s mouth go dry. The sheer _want_ in them was overwhelming; Jace could sense it through the bond then, like a dam inside Alec filled to the brim and ready to break. Alec drew a shuddering breath, and one of his hands went to Jace’s arm, fingers closing around it so tight, it was almost painful. 

Jace remembers realising that if he just leaned in a little and pushed himself up on his toes, he’d be able to press a kiss to Alec’s lips, breaking the dam and spilling all that raw power before his own feet. Remembers having a sudden flash of himself putting his hands on Alec’s head and pushing him to his knees, drunk with the knowledge that Alec would _let him_ , that he’d give himself over completely, if Jace simply asked him to.

He remembers placing a hand on Alec’s stomach, watching Alec’s last bit of control crumble as Jace ran it up over Alec’s chest and then higher, cupping his neck. Remembers feeling the power surge even higher and himself leaning in—and then suddenly stopping in confusion.

Alec’s eyes had fluttered shut, and as close as he was, Jace could see wetness on his eyelashes, a slight tremble in his lip. And still, Alec didn’t move, just stood there and waited for Jace to take whatever he wanted from him.

Jace suddenly felt like the world’s biggest asshole. 

He abruptly changed course, pulling Alec’s head down and ruffling his hair playfully, forcing himself to laugh as he pulled away.

“Got to work on those reflexes, man,” he told Alec. “Come on, let’s go find Izzy. I’m starving.”

Alec wouldn’t meet his eye for several days afterwards, and when a skirmish with the vampires arose, he quickly assigned himself the mission, together with a team of Shadowhunters that definitely did not include Jace.

Jace was pissed about it for half a day, until Izzy grabbed his arm and practically pulled him out of the Institute, guiding them through the streets of New York until they stood in front of a night club.

“Look,” she said. “I don’t know what happened between you and Alec this time, but you _have_ to stop jerking him around. He’s gay and he thinks he’s in love with you, and it’s _killing_ him. So unless you can tell me that you feel the same, back the fuck off and give him some space so he can get over you.”

Jace stood there, just gaping at her. Izzy crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow in a very ‘well?’ kind of way. He closed his mouth, opened it again. “Izzy, it’s not that easy, you don’t—”

“Are. You. In. Love. With. Him?” Izzy interrupted, enunciating each word almost painfully slowly. “It’s a simple enough question, Jace.”

Jace sighed and looked away. “No.”

“I didn’t think so,” Izzy said. “Do you want to fuck him?”

Jace closed his eyes, thinking back on the thrill of feeling Alec’s eyes on him, the surge of power coming from the simple act of pulling off his shirt at the right moment during training and watch a blush rise in Alec’s cheeks.

 _He’s gay and he thinks he’s in love with you, and it’s killing him._

Jace mentally slapped himself. He looked back at Izzy, raising his chin ever so slightly. “No. I don’t want that either.”

“Good, then stop being an ass,” Izzy said. “Now come on. Let me introduce you to some people who’ll be happy to help you let go and just enjoy life for a while. I think you’ll like them.”

Jace followed her lead, and ended up spending the night dancing and laughing with a group of fae, stumbling back to the Institute in the early hours of the morning, covered in fairy dust. Izzy caught back up with him on the subway—having disappeared from the club shortly after arriving—and sat down in the seat opposite him, digging into a mundane bag of fast food takeout with relish.

“God, I need a better stamina rune,” she said, popping a french fry into her mouth. “Is it insensitive to suggest a threesome just so your girlfriend can teach you some of her moves, do you think? Because I’m telling you, this thing she does with her tongue—”

Jace’s eyes widened. “I—that’s a lot of TMI,” he settled on. “Starting with the girlfriend thing. Since when are you into women?”

Izzy shrugged. “I don’t know? Pretty much since always, I think.”

“I thought you liked that Meliorn guy? I don’t know, I overheard you and Maryse arguing about it.”

“I kind of do,” Izzy said. “I don’t think anything’s going to happen there, though. There was this one time before me and Helia got together when I thought that maybe? But it’s not really in the cards right now. Unless—ooooh, that’s a _very_ nice image!”

“Let me guess, you want to know if it would be insensitive to ask your girlfriend for a threesome with another guy?” Jace said sarcastically.

“Shut up,” Izzy told him. “Most fae are very open to the idea of multiple partners. In fact, they think we Shadowhunters are strange and rigid and closed off in our love.”

“Really?”

“Really, really,” Izzy said. “Monogamy is a social construct. Just like gender and sexuality. You should try exploring a little sometime; you might like what you find.”

“Thanks, but no thanks,” Jace replied. “I thought I already told you I wasn’t interested in sleeping with guys.”

“No, you said you weren’t interested in sleeping with _Alec_ ,” Izzy pointed out. “Big difference. Just because you’re sexually attracted to a person doesn’t mean you want to sleep with _everyone_ of that gender. Or not want to, in your case.”

“Still, I think I’ll pass for now.”

“Suit yourself,” Izzy said. “I’m just saying, if you change your mind, I hear Flix can suck every bit of tension out of a guy’s body through their dick. People walk away from him with actual hearts in their eyes. It’s funny, I’ve seen it happen.”

Jace groaned and dropped his head into his hands. “Can we just stop talking about sex for now? You’re practically my sister. Popping a boner in front of you would be _weird_.”

“Oh, so I’m off limits as your sister, but Alec isn’t as your brother?” Izzy said, arching an eyebrow. “I don’t know, Jace, sounds to me like you might have some soul-searching to do.”

Jace rolled his eyes at her and reached out to grab a cheeseburger from the bag.

“I really don’t want to sleep with Alec,” he said eventually, once they’d finished the food and the subway was almost at their stop. “I _don’t_. He’s my brother and my _parabatai_ , and the thought of doing… _that_ just feels—wrong, I guess? Like, the opposite of sexy. But, I mean, I’m not _blind_. Alec’s objectively hot, and I think that sometimes, my body overrides my brain and sees him as just this random hot guy with a killer body, who’s shirtless and sweaty a lot of the time. And—yeah, I might be attracted to that, I guess. I really don’t know. It’s all tangled up in the fact that he likes _me_ and that _that’s_ pretty hot’.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Izzy said with a sigh. “Things like that get confusing really fast.”

“I also want to, I don’t even know—I just want to make him _happy_ ,” Jace added. “Because when he isn’t, it’s like this weight on my chest, pushing in, and I just want to make him smile. And I _can_. Or it feels like I can, and then it just makes things worse, instead. I’ve tried not to think about it too much, but being with Alec is… tempting, just as much for me as it is for him, I think. It’s just different kinds of temptation. For him, it’s love, or lust, or some kind of combination of the two, and for me, it’s—”

“A power trip with a side of good intentions,” Izzy filled in. “I get that. Doesn’t make you less of a jerk for exploiting it, though.”

“I know,” Jace replied with a sigh. “I’ll do better, I promise.”

“See that you do,” Izzy said. “Or I’ll kick you in the balls. With my heels on.”

“Duly noted,” Jace replied. “Thanks, Izzy. For tonight. I really appreciate it.”

“Anytime, little brother.”


End file.
